the Glocal Trekker Blog

Sunday afternoon my son proposed to his girlfriend, Ashley Goodin, and she accepted. She graduates in December from Mary Hardin Baylor in Belton after having student taught there. We like her a lot. She loves working overseas and has been to Thailand with her church from Temple, Texas a few times. She has a great family, a good base, and will do well in life. When I left East Texas, I left a lot of things there--looks like I’m going to have to learn to like country music! Ben had been saving to buy her ring. I’ve watched him hold the box with the ring, tilting it different ways to see the light catch the diamond in it and watch it sparkle. He still seems like a little kid to me--his toy is just a heck of a lot more expensive! Proud of you Ben and Ashley!! Here’s my free advice for having a meaningful life together:

First, get premarriage counseling as quickly as you can. You’re both gifted, both headed somewhere. It’s possible--just possible--both of you may be a little stubborn, not that you, Ben, got that from your parents! You have to merge your personalities, your goals and dreams--all of it. It takes work and you will expend a lot of energy doing it, but premarriage counseling, though no guarantee of a perfect marriage, will help you identify things you need to start working on early so you can enjoy your marriage.

Second, know where you’re going and map out a plan. Otherwise, you may just wander from here to there never knowing for sure where you should be or what you should be doing and waste a lot of time. However, be ready to adjust a lot and enjoy whatever is placed in front of you--you never live a moment twice.

Third, learn to have fun together beyond just "being in love." You’ll go through phases of "passion" in your life together. You should have different interests, yet there should be things you enjoy doing together a lot. Find a type movie you both like. Go to a live music concert every once in a while. Do different things--stay out of a rut. When you’re working, learn to make fun especially during those times, whether you’re in a city and there’s something to see, or you’re in a rural area and there’s a mountain to climb. Schedule time to enjoy life or it will pass you by.

Fourth, and most important, in everything see God. The highs and lows, successes and failures--God is there. To do that requires a commitment to spiritual disciplines as daily prayer and worship and a daily discipleship of obedience. Just being Christians does not guarantee a successful marriage--both of you being disciples does.

I love you both. Love passionately. Dream big. Rock and roll.