Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I Sometimes Question God
Sometimes I question God. Yep, I’m a pastor and, yes, I question God. As a matter of fact, I think because I am a Christian and a pastor I may actually question God more than most.
When I walk into Cook’s Children Hospital in Fort Worth and see broken parents waiting--spending the last few moments with a child in its hospital bed – its body heaving its potential last breath--parents waiting to see if the child gets one more breath or is this the last, I question God. When I see a little arm sticking out of the debris in Banda Aceh--why? When I see a family of beggars on the side of the road on the way to Kandahar, I know their future will be bad--why? Regardless of what I hear on TV, miracles seem to be reserved for those with enough faith (as a little child?) or conditions that can’t be readily examined for the reality of their cure like growing a foot or restoring a brain-damaged child.
When I see a child abducted and know that every minute the child is gone means abuse, violence until and "if" someone finds them in time, I ask for deliverance. Sometimes the child is found, sometimes not--but always tormented. I question God. Doesn’t He know how difficult the future of that child will be?
When fake preachers and pastors of huge churches and ministries are exposed and phony pastors of any size church use God for their buck, power, and agenda--only to cause more embarrassment and humiliation when found out--why doesn’t God do more to protect His name and reputation?
When I see the faces of the starving in Niger or in Sudan, when I see the faces of those dying of AIDS realizing many of the women in Africa get it through rape--why?
With all these questions why would I believe in God? With all these questions where is any hope at all without God?
Without God, evolution is the dirtiest trick of all--to have been created to suffer, die, with no meaning or hope of justice. With God, in a fallen world, I still question, but there is a future that fixes things beyond my ability here to touch.
Without God, there is no answer to the self-centeredness of man. With God, there is hope of redemption.
Without God, I fear who I would be and what I would do. With God, I still have my hands full with the darkness of my soul.
Without God, I have no hope to offer anyone. I once heard the story of a man whose son was dying. He was with him in the hospital. The dad had been an atheist all his life and his son had followed. "Hold on son, hold on. It won’t be long." The brokenhearted Father told his son on his deathbed. The son from his deathbed in the hospital looked up and with piercing eyes said to his Father, "Dad, hold on to what? There’s nothing to hold on to."
When I walk into Cook’s Children Hospital in Fort Worth and see broken parents waiting--spending the last few moments with a child in its hospital bed – its body heaving its potential last breath--parents waiting to see if the child gets one more breath or is this the last, I question God. When I see a little arm sticking out of the debris in Banda Aceh--why? When I see a family of beggars on the side of the road on the way to Kandahar, I know their future will be bad--why? Regardless of what I hear on TV, miracles seem to be reserved for those with enough faith (as a little child?) or conditions that can’t be readily examined for the reality of their cure like growing a foot or restoring a brain-damaged child.
When I see a child abducted and know that every minute the child is gone means abuse, violence until and "if" someone finds them in time, I ask for deliverance. Sometimes the child is found, sometimes not--but always tormented. I question God. Doesn’t He know how difficult the future of that child will be?
When fake preachers and pastors of huge churches and ministries are exposed and phony pastors of any size church use God for their buck, power, and agenda--only to cause more embarrassment and humiliation when found out--why doesn’t God do more to protect His name and reputation?
When I see the faces of the starving in Niger or in Sudan, when I see the faces of those dying of AIDS realizing many of the women in Africa get it through rape--why?
With all these questions why would I believe in God? With all these questions where is any hope at all without God?
Without God, evolution is the dirtiest trick of all--to have been created to suffer, die, with no meaning or hope of justice. With God, in a fallen world, I still question, but there is a future that fixes things beyond my ability here to touch.
Without God, there is no answer to the self-centeredness of man. With God, there is hope of redemption.
Without God, I fear who I would be and what I would do. With God, I still have my hands full with the darkness of my soul.
Without God, I have no hope to offer anyone. I once heard the story of a man whose son was dying. He was with him in the hospital. The dad had been an atheist all his life and his son had followed. "Hold on son, hold on. It won’t be long." The brokenhearted Father told his son on his deathbed. The son from his deathbed in the hospital looked up and with piercing eyes said to his Father, "Dad, hold on to what? There’s nothing to hold on to."
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